Will Ferrell Revives Ron Burgundy and Ben Affleck Skewers Critical Patriot Fans at Tom Brady’s Netflix Roast

## Lights, Camera, Burgundy! Roast of Tom Brady

** Setting: ** A lavishly decorated soundstage. Celebrities in tuxedos and gowns mingle, nervous energy in the air. Kevin Hart stands center stage, microphone in hand.

 

**Hart:** Alright guys, just do it! Tonight, we gather to celebrate the one, only, man who refuses to retire... Tom Brady!

**(Cheers erupt. Tom Brady, impeccably dressed, offers a tight smile.)**

 

**Hart:** But first, let's dig up some dirt! Leave it to the legendary anchorman, Ron Burgundy!

**(A spotlight hits a side entrance. Will Ferrell, decked out in Ron Burgundy's signature burgundy suit and mustache, saunters across the stage with an exaggerated expression.)**

**Ron Burgundy:** (in his deep, sultry voice) Well, if it's not Kevin Hart, shorter than a dachshund wearing platform shoes! And is that Tom Brady there? Freshly shaved testicles look smoother.

**(The crowd roars with laughter. Brady hides a smile.)**

**Ron Burgundy:** Now, Tom, I have to say, six Super Bowl wins? This is very impressive. Almost as impressive as my cologne collection is being named after an endangered species. "Bengal Tiger," anyone?

**(He holds up a crystal bottle with a tiger on it. Brady coughs.)**

**Ron Burgundy:** But enough about me. Let's consider the real story: Tom Brady, the quarterback who haunted Eli Manning's dreams for years! Where's Ellie, by the way? Did he get lost trying to find the end zone again?

**(The crowd screams. A camera cuts to Eli Manning, looking clearly uncomfortable, clutching a drink.)**

**Ron Burgundy:** But hey, Tom, even legends have flaws. Such as the "tick rule." Let's just say it looks less like a mess and more like a desperate attempt at a hug.

**(Brady throws his hands up in mock defense. Crowd goes wild.)**

 

**(Suddenly, Ben Affleck steps onto the stage, a mischievous glint in his eye.)**

**Ben Affleck:** Hold on a second, Burgundy. Let's talk about Tom's real challenge: New England Patriots fans.

**(The crowd murmurs. A few nervous coughs from the audience.)**

**Ben Affleck:** You guys nailed Brady! You sow the goat yourself! News flash, New England: If you can't appreciate Tom Brady, you don't deserve it. You're not a fan, you have a group of…

**(He leans towards the mic, voice low and roaring.)**

**Ben Affleck:** …well, let's just say you're not welcome at Dunkin' Donuts after dark.

 

**(The crowd erupts with a mixture of gasps, laughter, and nervous applause. Coach Belichick, sitting in the front row, notices Affleck staring.)**

**Ben Affleck:** (smiling) Hey, Belichick, relax! Just stating the facts. Also, you should thank Tom for those Super Bowl rings. They probably take up less space than all your hooded sweatshirts.

**(Audience bursts into laughter. Belichick's face turns red.)**

**Hart:** (wipes a tear from his eye) Alright guys, that's all we have time for Ben Affleck! But stick around, because next up, we've got roasts from Rob Gronkowski, his wife… oh wait, never mind… and Giselle herself!

**(Brady looks faint. The camera pans to Ron Burgundy, who winks at the camera.)**

**Ron Burgundy:** Well, it promises to be a low blow… well… well, you get the idea.

**(The scene fades to black.)**